Q. How do I tell my boss I don’t like her without jeopardizing my job?
A. I suggest you take a personal inventory of your reasons for not liking your boss, and why you feel it necessary to tell her that you don’t like her. I further suggest that you decide to create a list of things about her that you must admit are positive and focus on those things rather than the ones you dislike. You may even find yourself sharing with her some of the things you like, rather than looking for ways to tell her what you dislike about her. And the best reward for you, will be less anxiety and negative thinking, which is certain to make your job less stressful and far more fulfilling.
Q. Kia, I find it so hard to say no to my son although I know he is a master manipulator, liar, and recognizes how weak I am to his taking advantage of me. How can I say no without making him think I don’t love him?
A. Your question is filled with evidence that you are aware of your son’s negative behaviors. Your problem is that you are unaware of the fact that your response to your son is hurting him and not helping him. Saying no does not mean you don’t love him; and trust me, your son is aware of your love for him. What saying no means is that you love him enough to not enable negative, bad, and self-destructive behavior. Do yourself a favor the next time your son approaches you with what you realize is a manipulation or untruth and say ‘NO.’ Then observe his surprise and, perhaps, his insistence in getting you to say yes. It will surely become increasingly clear that saying no is often better for your son, as well as for yourself to ‘JUST SAY NO.’ You will inevitably notice positive changes in not only your son’s behavior, but yours as well.
Q. It has become clear that my husband is cheating on me. And to make matters even worse he is cheating with someone I know and have known since grade school. I love my husband, but I’m thinking about leaving. How can I get him to know how much his cheating is hurting me and get him to stop?
A. Unfortunately, you do not have the power to change the behavior of anyone other than your own. If you are certain and have clear evidence of your husband’s infidelity, you are entitled to confront him, and discuss the issue in an effort to seek solutions. However, above all else, I suggest you pray about your situation and seek God’s wisdom and direction. Know that God is with you and will strengthen you to overcome every trial and trouble you face throughout your life. His promise to never leave nor forsake you is a promise you can always trust.
Do YOU have a question for Kia? She’d be happy to accept questions. They can be emailed to lailai1044@comcast.net with the subject line ASK KIA.
