Q. It really bothers me, Kia, when I show a kindness to someone and they don’t show the least bit of appreciation. I recently held the door to a restaurant open for a family of five people, and not one of them had the courtesy to say thank you. It made me wish I hadn’t shown them kindness at all. Why do you think some people just don’t seem to have any sense of kindness in their hearts?
A. Please know that your kindness should and must not depend on how others respond to it. It’s not about pleasing people; it is about pleasing God. When you do a good deed with no expectations of receiving anything in return, God rewards you in numerous ways; even when you least expect it. Therefore, our motives for helping and being kind should be out of genuine love and concern for others, with no desire or expectation of repayment or reward. God loves a cheerful giver, and He sees and blesses those who love and care for others out of unconditional love. Let the warm feeling of love and joy be your only motive for helping others. It is then that not hearing ‘thank you’ after being kind to someone will not concern you at all.
Q. Kia, I find myself growing more depressed after watching the news media. And yet it bothers me not knowing what is happening around me. How can I remain aware of what I need to know and yet avoid all the political and social discord and disasters all around me?
A. I suggest that you set a daily schedule of quiet time in which you isolate yourself completely and focus on your relationship with God. Start a journal of ways you are being blessed and create a regular habit of counting your blessings. Ask God to help you look beyond the troubles of the world and keep your focus on Him. I further suggest that you stop watching the news and take inventory of how much difference it makes to your emotional well-being.
Q. Kia, I just discovered that my husband has been unfaithful during the last year of our marriage. He confessed his behavior and asked me to forgive him and give him a chance to prove his regret and renewed commitment to our relationship. I’m very reluctant and thinking of filing for divorce. I feel the trust is broken and we can’t go back to the way I thought we were. I still love him, but I don’t think I will ever be able to trust him again. What do you think I should do?
A. Love transcends all of life’s difficulties and covers a multitude of sins. Jesus is love. I am assuming that you know who Jesus is; and that God’s Word encourages us to forgive those who trespass against us just as He forgives us. I suggest you pray and ask God to help and strengthen you to accept your husband’s apology and renewed commitment; then let go of the past and look to a blessed and wonderful renewal of your relationship with your beloved husband.
Do YOU have a question for Kia? She’d be happy to accept questions. They can be emailed to lailai1044@comcast.net with the subject line ASK KIA.
